I had a conversation with an intellectual and passionate
female colleague last week and I fear I may have offended her. I do not
apologize for what I said or for my stance but her quiet anger and fiery stance
on the matter did give me food for thought—and for that I am grateful. It is not
my wish to offend but it is also my desire to be truthful and to more fully
explain my position.
The conversation started when I flubbed a joke breaking a
twenty for her and offering her a packet of ones. The joke was frankly terrible
and blasé, and if there is something I should apologize for it was that. I
forget the exact words but it was something to the effect of people might
mistake you for a stripper with all those ones which brought us to the subject
at hand: Is stripping demeaning to women?
I argued yes and believe I offended her. Before going any
further, please understand that I am a feminist. I believe wholeheartedly in
equal rights, opportunities, and treatment of both sexes. At some point in the
last few years stripping has somehow become a symbol to some of women’s
empowerment. What an amazing world it would be if that was the case but it is
not. Stripping IS demeaning to women—it’s demeaning to all exotic dancers,
males included but I’m not going to try to avoid running down that rabbit hole—because
it is designed to be.
Make no mistake, the stripping industry is run by men for
the benefit of men at the expense of the dancers. The entire sex industry is.
It was pointed out to me repeatedly that stripping is not sex. I say neither is
pornography but this is the sex trade. The stripper’s sexuality has been broken
down into a commodity and in our day and age when it is given a price that
commodity is about as valuable (and nourishing) as fast food. Yes, I’ll have a
blonde with fries on the side, please and thank you. And yes, the dancers,
human beings, are treated with about as much regard as that. The dancers do not
own their sexuality, the club and the customers do—they’re paying for it.
I think that several reasons why my colleague was offended
was because my stance seemed to be saying that it was dishonorable for women to
be stripping. It is not dishonorable for anyone to hold a job, to support their
family or to put themselves through college. This profession makes it a point
to dishonor these women. Debasement is what is being sold. Not women’s
empowerment.
What of the art? There is an art to dancing, a very sensual
art. The recognition of which is unavoidable and this is why we are seeing pole
dancing becoming more mainstream, separating itself from the sex trade because,
like the women who practice pole dancing as an art form or for fitness, it is
better than that. We recognize something of value there. Another acquaintance of
mine, a comedian who I used to discuss writing with once described to me his
time working in strip clubs as he built himself. To paraphrase, he described
the dancers as akin to having seizures on stage. There was no art to it, just
nudity and shaking body parts. Art and dancing is more than raw sex or the
temptation of it—it is an enjoyable display for both viewer and dancer that
inspires admiration and energy in a positive way. What goes on in a strip club
does not.
What if she enjoys it? Great for her but let’s be honest.
How many women in this profession do you really think are in it because they
enjoy it? And I’m not talking about the money—everyone enjoys receiving that. I’m
talking about the profession itself. Think about this one real hard for a
moment. Maybe there are a few women who do enjoy this career for the career’s
sake; I’d stake hard money however that most do not. Enough that this train of
thought would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. It’s a mentality that is
incredibly damaging not only to the feminist cause but to women as a whole. It’s
a question that is, tragically, asked about victims of rape and human
trafficking on a disgustingly regular basis.
Before a woman is an exotic dancer, before she is even a
woman, she is first and foremost a human being. The sex industry is designed to
bypass her humanity, designed in fact, to strip it away and break it down. Talk
to any experienced exotic dancer and you are likely to speak to a woman with
razor sharp cynicism cultivated to help her cope with a world that has been
attacking her and telling her that she is valued solely for her sex. A world
that is a major gateway for human trafficking (including prostitution) and
drugs. This breakdown is calculated, precise, and worse still, deliberate.
So is stripping demeaning to women? The sex industry won’t
allow it to be anything else and the notion that it is somehow empowering the
woman is the best thing that has ever happened to it.
Hello Julian,
ReplyDeleteI think you may have made some assumptions that may be grasping at straws. First off, never apologize for comedy - If a joke falls flat on its delivery or payoff, own the failure. If your friend was offended by the joke, as heartless as it sounds she's the one who chooses to be offended.
Therein lies the heart of my larger commentary: choice. Choice is paramount when one talks about people's walk on life. Strippers that are actively forced, coerced, or blackmailed into dancing are suffering from modern-day slavery. Not only does it demean them as women, it is a violation of their dignity and their human rights. Women who find themselves in this situation are to be freed from their unwarranted capture, and the network of people who do this to women is to be dismantled and their members tried.
However, I would take a gander and say that everyone else who participates in this activity do so because they choose to do so, their circumstances and reasons to make that choice (for now) are irrelevant. At the end of the day, anyone who isn't forced into stripping do so because they choose to do so, and they do so in full knowledge of where and how do they do it. Does their job rely in reducing the dancers as sex objects to be lusted after? Perhaps. Does this mean that the job should not exist because of that? I would say no. In a captialist society where there are needs and service providers fulfill these needs, strip clubs also apply. The need that they fulfill and the audience that has this need are not to your liking. I respect that. Do these businesses not have a right to exist because of that? Or because they do not inspire "positive admiration" do they not have a right to exist?
As I recall, feminists in the 70s and 80s praised the likes of Playboy and Penthouse because they allowed the previously repressed sexuality of women to be displayed and explored, perhaps not out of respect but out of the rebellion against the baby boomers that dictated strict roles. We're thirty years later, and it is they now go rail against these same publications, for demeaning women and reducing them to strict roles. Ah, historical irony. My favorite kind of irony.
While imagining a sex industry that is not the gateway from human trafficking and drugs is hard, my biggest gripe with moralizing types is that at some point everyone who got into it did so because they chose to do so, and such bear responsibility for their choices. I have found no sound argument to think otherwise. Unless blackmailed, coerced, or forced, no one is pushing strippers into stripping. I believe that their choice should be respected, even if, through ideology, you find the industry that gives them that job to be distasteful.
Bone to Pick,
DeleteFirst of all, thank you very much for your well-worded and thought out response.
I agree with about 90% of what you have said but I think you may be missing a big part of my point. I do not argue that women should not have the right to explore their sexuality or even choose to be sexually objectified—I am very much for free will. My argument is that it is a mistake to think that the sex industry as it exists today is a form of sexual empowerment to women when it very much is not. I am not addressing the morals of stripping or proposing that strip clubs be shut down, that is something that simply isn’t going to happen because as long as someone is buying someone will be selling.
Is stripping demeaning to women: chosen freely or no, the answer is yes. This is an industry that is actively and deliberately demeaning to its workers. And yes, they are workers. It is not my purpose to disrespect any woman in this profession, I merely want us to acknowledge that this industry has never stood for women’s empowerment but rather their exploitation, and that there is this pseudo-myth that has formed about it that says otherwise.
On the subject of choice, I again agree with you that the right to choose is essential and that we are each responsible for our own decisions. That said, choosing to be objectified does not make it a healthy choice any more than choosing to eat a Big Mac or smoke or take drugs. My point is not that women do not have the right to choose but rather that this industry is being misrepresented as something healthy when it is not. Disregarding all religious and political stances on the subject the psychology of the industry reveals it to be incredibly unhealthy and often damaging. Do women (and men) have the right to choose this line of work and should they have the right to choose it? Absolutely. But that was never my point.