I had a conversation with an intellectual and passionate
female colleague last week and I fear I may have offended her. I do not
apologize for what I said or for my stance but her quiet anger and fiery stance
on the matter did give me food for thought—and for that I am grateful. It is not
my wish to offend but it is also my desire to be truthful and to more fully
explain my position.
The conversation started when I flubbed a joke breaking a
twenty for her and offering her a packet of ones. The joke was frankly terrible
and blasé, and if there is something I should apologize for it was that. I
forget the exact words but it was something to the effect of people might
mistake you for a stripper with all those ones which brought us to the subject
at hand: Is stripping demeaning to women?
I argued yes and believe I offended her. Before going any
further, please understand that I am a feminist. I believe wholeheartedly in
equal rights, opportunities, and treatment of both sexes. At some point in the
last few years stripping has somehow become a symbol to some of women’s
empowerment. What an amazing world it would be if that was the case but it is
not. Stripping IS demeaning to women—it’s demeaning to all exotic dancers,
males included but I’m not going to try to avoid running down that rabbit hole—because
it is designed to be.
Make no mistake, the stripping industry is run by men for
the benefit of men at the expense of the dancers. The entire sex industry is.
It was pointed out to me repeatedly that stripping is not sex. I say neither is
pornography but this is the sex trade. The stripper’s sexuality has been broken
down into a commodity and in our day and age when it is given a price that
commodity is about as valuable (and nourishing) as fast food. Yes, I’ll have a
blonde with fries on the side, please and thank you. And yes, the dancers,
human beings, are treated with about as much regard as that. The dancers do not
own their sexuality, the club and the customers do—they’re paying for it.
I think that several reasons why my colleague was offended
was because my stance seemed to be saying that it was dishonorable for women to
be stripping. It is not dishonorable for anyone to hold a job, to support their
family or to put themselves through college. This profession makes it a point
to dishonor these women. Debasement is what is being sold. Not women’s
empowerment.
What of the art? There is an art to dancing, a very sensual
art. The recognition of which is unavoidable and this is why we are seeing pole
dancing becoming more mainstream, separating itself from the sex trade because,
like the women who practice pole dancing as an art form or for fitness, it is
better than that. We recognize something of value there. Another acquaintance of
mine, a comedian who I used to discuss writing with once described to me his
time working in strip clubs as he built himself. To paraphrase, he described
the dancers as akin to having seizures on stage. There was no art to it, just
nudity and shaking body parts. Art and dancing is more than raw sex or the
temptation of it—it is an enjoyable display for both viewer and dancer that
inspires admiration and energy in a positive way. What goes on in a strip club
does not.
What if she enjoys it? Great for her but let’s be honest.
How many women in this profession do you really think are in it because they
enjoy it? And I’m not talking about the money—everyone enjoys receiving that. I’m
talking about the profession itself. Think about this one real hard for a
moment. Maybe there are a few women who do enjoy this career for the career’s
sake; I’d stake hard money however that most do not. Enough that this train of
thought would be laughable if it wasn’t so sad. It’s a mentality that is
incredibly damaging not only to the feminist cause but to women as a whole. It’s
a question that is, tragically, asked about victims of rape and human
trafficking on a disgustingly regular basis.
Before a woman is an exotic dancer, before she is even a
woman, she is first and foremost a human being. The sex industry is designed to
bypass her humanity, designed in fact, to strip it away and break it down. Talk
to any experienced exotic dancer and you are likely to speak to a woman with
razor sharp cynicism cultivated to help her cope with a world that has been
attacking her and telling her that she is valued solely for her sex. A world
that is a major gateway for human trafficking (including prostitution) and
drugs. This breakdown is calculated, precise, and worse still, deliberate.
So is stripping demeaning to women? The sex industry won’t
allow it to be anything else and the notion that it is somehow empowering the
woman is the best thing that has ever happened to it.
